From his death row cell, infamous vigilante Chopra Reid has managed to accrue enough wealth to purchase a new GLB World League football franchise, which he duly named the Oakland Mother-in-Laws.

With the days of his life numbered, Chopra Reid is intending to go out with a bang not a whimper. Despite the limits on visitation rights and other departmental obstacles, we managed to get a brief interview with the notorious figure...

Football Digest: Hi, Chopra.

Chopra Reid: You've got five minutes.

FD: Ah, one of those interviews.

CR: Yeah, but you won't live thru mine if you push it.

FD: But there's an iron cage around you, I'm over here.

CR: You think these bars stop me? I could get outta here tomorrow if I wanted to.

FD: Well, why don't you?

CR: I like it here. Peace and quiet. I'm not too fond of the outside world.

FD: I still don't believe you, tho.

CR: I just bought a football team! Think about that one. By the way, you're not doing too well with time.

FD: But I have some real good questions here.

CR: You'll have to save them for next time, when the Mother-in-Laws are destroying the post-season.

FD: Ah, what's with the name?

CR: I hate my mother-in-law. I bet you hate yours. We all do. Enough said.

FD: Interesting. I notice your cheerleaders dance around in skimpy police costume.

CR: Handcuffs and binds can be a good thing.

FD: I wouldn't know.

CR: Your time is up.

Despite the fact this writer soiled his underwear during the interview, we found Chopra Reid to be a most charming man. He set us up with season tickets and football jerseys, with a parting word of caution, "If I read one bad article full of bullshit, you're dead."

We'll be sure to look forward to the Mother-in-Laws in the post-season, and another chance at an interview with the complex mind of Chopra Reid.